Friday, December 29, 2006

Green(e) Bean Mystery Revealed

"Honor First, Coffee Second."
Many of you have expressed confusion (in one form or another) of how and why I prize my "Green Bean drinks". Hint - there're no green beans in them. I wouldn't drink them if there were. This is Army coffee - if you like - in our new age. Well . . . not exactly.
If it were Army coffee - it would A) suck, B) be not available, and C) suck. This is privatized Army coffee, liscensed to operate at a reasonable profit (surely) on Army bases and posts around the world - particularly in undesirable places.
Like so much here - this effort to bring quality coffee to the troops is private sector. And it works - by simply getting out of the way. If you're looking for a critic of this element of our new appoach to war-fighting - you've come to the wrong place. I'm of the Libertarian/Republican stripe. Sorry to disappoint.
Green Bean Coffee works so well, and the coffee is so damn good, and available generally 24 hours - because the US Army/Government has NOTHING to do with it - except granting it the special liscense to operate on these wayward postings.
They are staffed by third-country nationals who are paid slightly better than average wages (for this kind of work stateside). - - - Which can feed a family of eight back in Nepal, the Phillipines, or Krgyzstan. These guys and gals are well-liked, well-tipped (we're Americans, after all), and generally fit right in with the rest of us infidels in this - the International Zone. They can usually be seen playing board games, sharing a conversation with other Americans, Coalition Forces, or third country nationals in their off-time. They are perhaps the most essential people here.
I can do alot of things. but I cannot make an Esspresso Chai Latte Triple with Irish Cream. The stuff dreams are made of . . . . and I wouldn't drink the stuff I concocted. Without these miracle workers - there'd be no Green-Bean Magic. ECLTs are my favorite - a blending of robust, dark-roasted, premium expresso with Thai Chai, sweetness, and love. It is the elixir of life, and sadly - often the high-point of my day.
And I will slake the ground with the blood of the enemies of Green Bean, (peace be upon them), his most holy, most merciful.
If harm were to come to any of the believers (of the green bean) or their supply chain - then the very gates of hell would be opened. US commanders would not be able to control their troops. You think you've seen "jihad?" Try an entire armored cavalry division separated from their only permissable libation. See, the Mohammedans aren't truly suicidal . . .

Love. In a paper cup. Surely Un-Islamic.


whimsicalnbrainpan said...

Good to know you guys get decent coffee. I'm a mess without my daily cup.

eddie said...

you need any kind of coffee or stuff let me know and i will send you what you want, my email is on my site, so what ever you need let me know and i will send it to you, just let me know how to send it..

Craig D said...

I was wondering where on Earth I could find a good cup of coffee.

Now I know!

Crashdummie said...

Actually, the meaning of Islam is submission, so I guess surrending to the magical bean isn't so unmuslimy if you think abt it ;)

Nope, haven't tried that coffe, and I think I rather stick to my Latte... but have moved the blog though and taken it to the open roads.


Thomas Vickers said...

1) Don't do coffee, but I understand your pain. Nothing stands between me and my redbull in the morning. NOTHING.

Also glad I found your blog. It is good to see the folks in Iraq with a sense of humor.


skinnylittleblonde said...

LOL @ Post. So glad you can get a good cup of Joe anytime you want!

I have always felt like a sandwich made by anyone else taste better & a cop of Joe made by a 'paid professional' is the best.